It’s really sad when you new blogger go to all the effort of starting a WordPress blog only to be let down by the theme and design that they choose.
In fact, it can have a terrible effect on how well that blog performs over time.
In this post I’m going to show you how to make your WordPress theme look as cheap and ugly as possible. If you are doing any of these things it’s time to take a good hard look at your relationship to WordPress.
NOTE: This post is very tongue in cheek. Don’t take it too seriously.
How to make your WordPress theme look cheap
Okay so here is the step by step process for making your WordPress theme look as cheap as possible.
1. Fill your sidebar up with icons and stuff
How much white space is in your sidebar? If you can see any it means you haven’t added enough social media icons, affiliate adverts or links to your favorite blogs. Fill that space up! You’re sidebar needs to be as busy and and unfocused as possible. After all, people really do click on that stuff a lot.
2. Design your logo yourself
If you have experience as a writer, accountant or some other profession there is a good chance that you will also be very well placed to design your own logo. Make sure you allocate at least 25 minutes to designing the brand that you will be known for. And when you save it, make sure it is in a pixelated and slightly blurry style. That always gets attention.
3. Use a default opt-in form design
Are you collecting emails with Feedburner or Aweber? Just whack on a default form even if it doesn’t match your brand’s colors or styling. As long as it is there people will use it. Surely?
4. Experiment with different typeface mixtures
You know those beautiful and timeless font combinations like Georgia 16px and Arial with a decent line spacing? Forget them! Try mixing your fonts up and perhaps have two or three different ones. Extra points if you can make the color clash with the background. This is a really important step if you have a mostly text-based website or blog.
5. Use cheap images
One of the absolute best ways to make your whole WordPress theme look cheap is to select cheap and nasty images. Free ones if possible. The best WordPress designers use super high quality photos that really enhances their brand. Don’t worry about that. Go to a free site and just select any old image that has been used thousands of times before by bloggers around the world. We all know that an image says a thousand words. Let’s make them all bad words. 😉
Sometimes blogs start out looking good but then get ruined by the owner. This is a perfect example of why a little bit of outsourcing can go a long way. By just hiring someone to do the work you free up your own time and don’t wind up making your once beautiful theme look a little bit ugly.